Bartender: You look wrecked.
Cover: Mate, you should see the seat I saved.
It’s not the start of a joke — it’s just life on the tools.
See, if seat covers could talk, they’d have a few things to say. Most of them unprintable. Because being a seat cover isn’t for the faint-hearted. It’s long days, hard yakka, and the daily gamble of whether the bloke climbing into the machine’s got a clean backside or a leaky coffee.
We take a lot, us seat covers. Mud, grease, crushed pie crumbs, the occasional set of spanners dropped from a great height — and we don’t complain. We just crack on. That’s the gig.
Pull up a stool, I’ll tell you how it is.
First thing you need to know: the seat underneath me? Absolute princess. One little crack and it falls apart. Gets brittle in the sun. Soaks up every spill like it’s collecting ‘em. Then the stitching gives out and next thing you know, someone’s calling the boss asking why their backside’s being stabbed by springs.
That’s where I come in.
Canvas on the outside. Grit on the inside.
Not to brag, but I’ve outlived two forklifts. I’ve seen every job from landscaping to demolition. I’ve survived angle grinders, hot chip oil, and some absolute stinkers of lunches.
I’ve kept things comfortable when the AC was cactus, and I’ve held it together when the seat underneath was falling to bits — literally.
You could say I’m the last line of defence between a tradie and a very bad day.
At the bar, I’m not the only one. There’s the glovebox — bit of a know-it-all, but always got the backup sunnies. The floor mat? Tough as nails, bit grubby. Gets stepped on a lot, but never complains.
We’ve all seen things.
One time the fuel cap came in crying because someone left him behind on-site.
Another time the indicator switch dobbed on someone for not using him properly — again.
But me? I just keep showing up.
Moral of the story is, if you’ve got a good seat cover, look after it. If you don’t have one at all — well, mate, that’s a false economy.
Sure, you saved a couple hundred skipping it. But replacing a seat? That’ll sting.
And trust me: the seat’s not judging you.
But I might be.
#thebestfittingseatcovers
It’s not flashy. It’s not complicated.
It just does the job, day in and day out.
No fuss. No cracks. No regrets.
Just good gear — and a bar tab to prove it.